Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
