to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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