I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
