she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
