Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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