watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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