WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
So apparently I’m into choking now
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