Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
