YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
