the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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