i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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