You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I enjoy the company of your penis
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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