Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
