I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
