ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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