Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
