It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
