you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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