dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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