I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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