that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
