i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
