im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
