I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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