somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he fucked my hip out of place.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
