woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
