Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We talked him into tasing himself.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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