ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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