Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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