I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
