brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
