am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
