He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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