Fuck appropriateness.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
