Are we in a gay sports bar?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
