How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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