I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Every concussion has its silver lining
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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