there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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