dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
