She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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