So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
