why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
