i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
