once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
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i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
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Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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