You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
