why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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