But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
