they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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