we're blogging at a bar
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
