If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
