I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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