I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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