Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
