morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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