You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
