I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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