all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Did I show you my penis last night?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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