so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
