I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
