Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
