I cockslap morals
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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