So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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