It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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