Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
