what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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